How To Avoid Being A Victim of Scams and Other Online Threats

Have you ever received an email like the one below?

This is a real email that I received.

These “foreign money exchange” schemes typically start with an email from someone overseas who claims to be royalty or businessperson. The fraudsters lure you in by offering a share of a huge investment opportunity or a fortune they can’t get out of the country without your help.

Then they ask you either for your bank account number so they can transfer the money to you for safekeeping, or for a small advance payment to help cover the expense of transferring the money.

You may laugh at the insanity of falling for such a fraud but the FBI reports that potentially millions of dollars are lost each year to these scams.

How To Protect Yourself

There a few ways online criminals access our money, by relying on our emotions and ignorance or by stealing it directly using technology.

The first line of defense against scams is to question everything. Also, be confident to say no.

If you get an email from Dr. Gilberto Churchill offering a large sum of money, it’s probably not real. The old adage “if it sounds too good to be true it probably is” comes to mind.

Or if you receive a call from the Social Security Administration saying that your Social Security number is going to be suspended unless you take immediate action. Would the Social Security Administration make a call like that? Not likely. If you think there might be some legitimacy, refuse to give any personal information to them, hang up and call a number that you know.

As for the technology side of things, the first thing we can do is regularly update our operating system and applications. The companies who create the software recognize holes in their security and periodically release updates to combat it.

Avoid clicking on pop-up windows or attachments unless they are from a trusted source and you are expecting them. You’ll also want to make sure your security software (antivirus, spyware, firewall) is running and up to date in case you accidentally click on a malicious link.

Don’t use public Wi-Fi unless you have a VPN (virtual private network). It’s a lot easier for criminals to access your information if you use a non-secure network.

I recommend using a secure password system to manage your various online accounts, email, and other online services. A summary of these services can be accessed at this link, Password Managers. If you are not comfortable with online technology tools, ensure your various passwords are complex, secured, and accessible to family members.

Experts also recommend backing up your files to an external hard drive every few weeks, especially since malware can be incredibly difficult to remove. In the case of ransomware, even if you do successfully remove it, your files may still remain inaccessible.

If You Become A Target

If you realize that you fell for a scam or fear that your computer is infected with malware, you’ll want to act as quickly as possible to prevent any further damage.

Do NOT pay the scammer any more money and contact your bank to see if they can reverse what has been paid. You’ll also want to notify your state consumer protection office and report it to your local police too.

If your computer is being held ransom with malware, do not pay the hacker. These are not legitimate business people. Once they have your money (and the ransom is usually pretty expensive), they have no incentive to follow through on any promises to unlock your machine or files. This is where always backing up your files to an external hard drive will come in handy.

Although a scam can be financially devastating if you become victim to one, you can drastically reduce your vulnerability by educating yourself, practicing good online habits, and keeping your devices up to date.

Don't Just Set Goals, Make Habits

The start of the new year brings new beginnings and for a lot of people that can take the form of a new year’s resolution.

Losing weight, getting healthy, saving money… these are a few common new year’s resolutions that all have something in common. They’re all very broad goals.

What’s wrong with a goal? Well, nothing. But something I’ve noticed is that a lot of goals are never fully fleshed out and fall to the wayside after a short period of time.

Some anecdotal evidence of this is currently happening at my gym. Every January the place is a madhouse. The parking lot is always full and good luck trying to find a machine to work on. Come February though, it’s all back to normal.

So what happened to all of these people? They had a goal they wanted to achieve, but they didn’t develop a habit in order to make it happen.

The Problems With Goals

When we want to change an aspect of our lives, setting a goal is often the logical first step. But there are some problems with this approach.

Goals require work. Humans by nature are generally lazy creatures. Why hunt and gather when I can just farm and cultivate my food? If we perceive something is taking too much of our energy, with not a lot of benefit, we stop doing it!

Goals rely on factors that we do not always have control over. Sometimes reaching a goal isn’t possible, no matter how much effort we put into it. An injury might derail a fitness goal. An unexpected expense might sabotage a financial goal.

Goals have an end. This is the reason many people go back to their old ways after attaining a certain goal. We’ve done what we set out to do and now it’s time to relax or treat yourself.

The Benefits of Habits

Are goals completely useless? Of course not. I’ve found that goals are good for planning your progress and habits are good for actually making progress.

The benefit of creating habits is that it helps us reach our goals in incremental steps and literally rewires our brains.

Habits are easy to complete. Once we develop a habit, our brains actually change to make the behavior easier to complete.

Habits are for life. Our lives are structured around habits. Once you develop one, they are hard to break and they happen automatically.

Habits can be as small as necessary. You can make incremental adjustments to your behavior to build a habit. Once you start, the changes start to compound on one another and at some point, it just becomes part of your routine. It’s like a snowball going down a hill, gathering momentum as it goes.

Say you want to read more. A goal might be for you to read a book a month. Instead, say you are going to read 5 minutes a day for 30 days. By the end of the 30 days, it’s become a habit.

Goals can provide direction and even push you forward in the short-term, but eventually, a well-designed system of habits will always come out on top.

Having a system is what matters. Committing to the process is what makes the difference.

If you have something that you want to do, don’t just focus on a specific goal, rather take the time to form habits that help you achieve it.

Are You In The Right Room?

I recently had the opportunity to attend a conference in Chicago for the National Association of Personal Financial Advisors (NAPFA).

Attending financial planning conferences is exciting because it gives me an opportunity to get out and learn from other professionals.

But that can also be intimidating.

I’m always concerned that I won’t be able to keep up in conversations with my peers or that I won’t have anything to contribute.

Imposter syndrome really seems to hit me at NAPFA conferences in particular because I’m surrounded by a community of bright, motivated, and successful people that are just as passionate about fee-only financial planning as I am.

Then I remembered this quote: “If you’re the smartest person in the room, you’re in the wrong room.”

People who know everything have nothing to learn. There is no opportunity for growth if there is no room for growth. 

When you find yourself in a space where you are among intelligent, high performers, then you are presented with an incredible opportunity – the opportunity to grow.

I found myself in the right rooms at the conference.

In three short days, I learned helpful techniques to improve my skills as a financial planner and met so many brilliant people, people who are far smarter than me. I was reminded that it’s good to be introduced to concepts that I can use to develop new strategies that help make my client’s lives better.

Rooms, where we feel smart, are safe rooms. They are comfortable rooms, but they are not rooms where we grow.

Take a chance on something that makes you challenge yourself and change will come your way. And always questions if you are in the right room.

Am I Rich?

Growing up I always assumed that being rich meant living in a big house and driving a sports car.

But I’ve learned over the years that having that “stuff” doesn’t make a person rich.

They might have a high income, but they may also spend beyond their means and couldn’t go three months without their high-paying job and still maintain their lifestyle.

They’re in a state where all that stuff burdens them to keep working for the sole purpose of keeping those things.

They’re certainly not rich, they’re just able to afford more debt.

What does rich mean to me?

I think a common mistake we all make is to use the terms “rich” and “wealth” interchangeably.

I don’t believe that the term rich refers to the amount of money you’ve accumulated. That’s wealth.

To me, being rich is a mindset. It’s not some arbitrary dollar figure or my social status. I don’t need the latest and greatest gizmo or gadget. And I don’t care if people see me driving the same car for 10 years.

I just want to live free of debt, I want to be generous with my wealth, and I want to appreciate what I have.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to spend money on things that make us happy. But all that “stuff” alone does not make a person rich.

How to think about being rich

Once we rid ourselves of the assumption that being “rich” means that we have a ton of cash or things, there are so many way-more-meaningful ways to think about being rich, including:

Friends and Family: I consider having good friends and family, basically any group that has your back 100%, to be a sign of being rich. Money doesn’t come close to offering the same type of value that friends and family can offer.

Generosity: Why accumulate wealth if you aren’t able to share it? And I’m not talking about solely giving to charity or the less fortunate either. It just feels nice to buy your friends or family dinner sometimes just because you can.

Hobbies: I believe that having hobbies is essential to happiness. The more hobbies we have, the more productive that we tend to feel especially after the drain of full-time work is off of our shoulders. 

Community: This kind of goes hand-in-hand with hobbies. We’re social creatures by nature, and communities help to nurture what comes naturally to the majority of us. Surround yourself with like-minded individuals who have a common goal/interest and you’ll instantly feel richer.

How do you think about being rich? What are other ways of considering yourself rich?

Writing a Sympathy Letter

Writing a sympathy letter can be difficult because often times we feel awkward addressing such a serious matter, or we worry about saying the wrong thing. It can be tempting not to say anything at all and let our insecurities get the better of us.

In my experience, people would rather hear from you than not. They may not consciously be thinking that they need your support, but your words can be uplifting in a time that they really need it. Even the slightest reminder that you are thinking about them during their hard time will help them through it.

To-Do’s of Writing a Sympathy Note

Just write one. The first suggestion about sympathy letters is to always err on the side of writing one. It doesn’t matter if you knew the person they lost well or not at all, go ahead and take the time to send a letter. It’s better to share sympathies in a letter as opposed to bringing it up to the person because sharing sympathies in public can bring up all of the grieving person’s feelings at a time when they’d rather remain composed. A letter, on the other hand, can be reviewed and appreciated in private.

KIS – Keep it simple. Your grieving friend just wants to know that you’re thinking of them, so don’t feel like you have to come up with a profound statement about death and life.

Relive a memory. Sharing a memory of the deceased person gives your grieving friend a few moments to relive special memories of their loved one and lets them know that others have fond memories of that person too.

Don’t compare your losses. This is especially true if you haven’t experienced the exact same thing. If you have experienced a similar loss, a reference to your ability to truly sympathize is appropriate. But don’t go on and on about how you felt during that time; the focus should remain on the other person.

Don’t try to justify the loss. Don’t deliver platitudes like “This is God’s plan,” or “He is better off now,” This will not offer your friend any condolences, even if it may be true.

Express your support. Let them know that you’re thinking and praying for them. Simply saying, “My thoughts go out to you during this difficult time”, is sufficient.

Offer your help. Let the person know that if there is anything you can do for them or if they ever want to talk or hang out, to please let you know.

Example:
Dear Mitch-

I was so sorry to hear about the death of your father, Frank. I remember when we would go fishing, he’d always be telling us tales of past fishing glories. He was definitely a great guy to be around and was always making me laugh.

I am thinking and praying for you every day. If you ever want to talk, don’t hesitate to let me know.

With Deepest Sympathy,

If you or someone you know has suffered a loss recently, you may find my piece on loss and having a plan helpful.